The thing about planning a wedding is that most brides have never done it before, and the realities of event planning are unfamiliar. One of the common questions is why do photographers cost as much as they do. Especially these days with digital photography, the perceived expense for each picture is zero. So I asked some of my friends that do professional photography, and here’s what I heard:

As with any competent professional, you are paying for their expertise and training. It’s easy to forget that there is an art to taking pretty pictures since most of us have fairly decent cameras on our cellphones.A good photographer has studied and experimented for years with lighting and picture composition, and they have learned how to catch action shots, and how to stay in the background when necessary. They know that they need to take 1,000 pictures, but also know not to waste your time by showing you the 800 of those that did not come out perfect. They know how to crop the photos and color correct them.

The right equipment is very expensive. Not just the camera, but all the lenses, the lighting, and the computer to photo-edit them. All of this equipment needs to be maintained and repaired when necessary. They may also bring an assistant who needs to be paid.

The professional has back-up equipment, is adept at anticipating when special shots will happen, is planning for the next day or two to spend in front of a computer, editing, correcting imperfect shots, and working toward a standard of images that are far superior to the hobbyist. The time and effort behind the scenes is more consuming than the actual work at the wedding itself. (S)he will also be watching for many of the bills that need to be covered, including liability insurance, filing taxes, marketing, maintaining a website, and in general running a business.

show in the style of Dueling Pianos, but with just one entertainer on his grand piano. We emailed back and forth several times over the past few weeks talking about the content of the show and what would work best with his guests. We nailed it down, the contract was signed and a deposit was paid. Then Hurricane (Frankenstorm?) Sandy came.

I was lucky that my place didn’t loose power or have any direct damage from the storm, although much of Manhattan was out of power. The worst of the storm happened on Monday night, and for the rest of the week the subways and the power grids in NYC were hobbled. The gas stations quickly ran out of gas. The Holland Tunnel still remains closed as of this writing, and inbound traffic through the Lincoln Tunnel has been limited to cars with 3 riders or more. On Wednesday, in preparation for Friday’s gig in New Jersey, I decided to rent a Zipcar right by the entrance of the Lincoln Tunnel, as I was afraid that the Friday afternoon traffic out of the city would be much worse than it’s normal end of the week exodus. As I got ready to leave my place to get the car, I double checked the address of the garage only to find that my reservation had been cancelled because apparently most of the zipcars in Manhattan had been returned with no gas.

After a panicked call to Zipcar, they found me one of the last cars in Manhattan. I walked/ran 25 blocks because the taxis were all full. I was afraid it would take me hours to get through the tunnel, but strangely I was in NJ in about 10 minutes after picking up my car in midtown. The drive on Rt. 3 was uneventful, but once I got off the highway I was detoured no less than 5 times due to fallen trees and power lines. I passed several gas stations, some with no power, others with long lines of people waiting to fill their gas cans, and others with lines of ambulances and police cars waiting to fill up.

Finally I reached the clients home, 10 minutes before I was due to begin my show. A quick change into my gig clothes and I was behind the piano. The night went quickly as people were in the mood to party, as everyone there had had a rough week with Sandy and her aftermath. As the 40 partygoers gathered around my piano, swaying together and singing at the top of their voices, all of the stress of the week dissipated. I was reminded yet again of what a privilege it is to be an entertainer.

When I first began entertaining at private parties, weddings and corporate events I would always ask where the stage was going to be located.  Sometimes the stage was located on the small side of a very large rectangular space leaving me positioned far away from the majority of the audience. I would always find myself working twice as hard to capture a room and many times it was impossible. Then, a few years ago, I changed my approach. I was talking to a friend who is also an event entertainer and he said something that always stuck with me. He told me that when he works an event, rather than asking where the stage will be, and accepting this as a done deal, he works with the client to inform them where the stage would be most effective.

In the case of both my friend and I, we both run a dueling piano show in different cities, and the key with both our shows is audience interaction. We want the audience to have direct access to the stage to make requests, or come up and dance, or bring the birthday boy or bachelorette up for a roast.  We also work the audience from the stage, encouraging singing, clapping and general mayhem. So the way that works best is when the audience is in close proximity to the stage.  That can mean placing the stage in the middle of the longest wall (rather than the short wall where you are at the very end of a long narrow room), or even better, in the middle of the room where we are central to everyone. This “theater in the round” setup wouldn’t work for all types of entertainment, but for the situations it does work, it serves to cut the distance in half from the stage to the furthest audience member, making audience interaction so much easier.

Another consideration for me is the height of the stage. Higher isn’t always better for every type of show. With dueling piano shows, it’s not a concert but rather, the entertainer is the first partier among equals, meaning that I don’t want to be looked at as “the performer” but rather as the guy who leads the party while still being part of it. So I find that a stage height of 6″ -12″ inches is perfect for small to medium-sized rooms, because that makes me more accessible both physically (for those who want to come up on stage) and figuratively (I’m not elevated above the guests.) In larger rooms, a higher elevation may be appropriate so that those that are far from the stage can still have an unobstructed view.

So if you are a professional event planner, or just a person throwing a party, know that where you choose to put your entertainers could make or break your party. Ask your entertainer for their informed opinion. Obviously what works for Dueling Pianos may not work for a magician, and what works for a magician might not work for a wedding band. Every room is different and every show is different. If you are working with professional event entertainers, they will gladly research the venue and help you figure out how they can make the maximum impact for your guests.

A couple times each year I leave NYC and go out as part of a Dueling Piano show headlining on a cruise ship for a month or two. A year ago, while I was working a Europe run I wrote the following:

Living on a cruise ship is like a suspension of reality. Other than the 14 hours each week that I am doing our Dueling Piano show, the rest of the time is free for whatever. It’s very easy to sleep until the afternoon, and stay up into the morning hours drinking or just chatting with your ship mates. You make friends very fast, and then they disappear as their contracts finish, or yours does. This particular ship is a bit of a prototype in that they are the first cruise ship in this company to offer the type of branded entertainment you might see in Vegas or New York. Every night there are 4 or 5 shows that the guests can choose from in addition to the standard lounge acts and bands you would expect to encounter on a cruise ship. As an entertainer, living and eating (and if you get lucky, sleeping) with all of these other musicians, actors, dancers and entertainers, it is a rich life. Most of my onboard friends are in the entertainment staff and have made names for themselves outside of the small world of ships, and are truly interesting people.

Of course it’s not all fun and games. Not everyone gets along with everyone else, and we all bring our personal demons with us, some of which can be pretty hard to hide. Right now, there have been two separate incidents of very talented guest entertainers having too much to drink and bothering the guests with their behavior. One entertainer got so drunk that he bit (yes, with his teeth) one of the guests. I’m sure he thought he was being funny, but the guest complained and he was thrown off the ship the following day, along with his innocent partner that worked his two-man act with. In another incident only a couple of nights later, one of the guest entertainers got blind drunk and insulted a guest so much that the guest complained to management. The only reason this entertainer was not fired immediately was because he was a member of a 4-person tribute act that would not have been able to function without all 4 members. The fallout is affecting all of the guest entertainers, but that’s a separate story.

Sometimes all of the travel can be lonely too. In spite of the fast and interesting friendships I’ve made, there are moments when I long for my dear friends and family back home. At night when I’m lying in my bed alone, I think about home and my people that are waiting for me to return. Yesterday I had made plans to go to Capri with a couple of new friends who had to bail at the last minute. I decided to take the ferry over and go by myself. It was a solitary and introspective experience, that gave me time to think and enjoy this new place without the distraction of another. I was alone, but not lonely.

A couple weeks ago we were hired to do a dueling piano show in front of a convention of 2,000 people in Washington DC. Sharing the stage with us was a Comedy Magician by the name of Dennis Watkins, who also served as the Master of Ceremonies for the evening. The event planners wanted us to alternate every 30 minutes between the magic show and the dueling piano show. Luckily for them and the audience, no one asked my opinion about how well this would work, because I would have told them it was doomed to failure. I thought for sure that breaking up both of our shows and bouncing back and forth between acts was a formula for audience ADD, and that we would both have to work twice as hard to regain the audience after each switchover. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

We began the show with dueling pianos. It was a slow start as everyone was moving to their tables and wondering what type of fish would be served. But by the end of the first 30 minutes, we had at least grabbed their attention with the music and a bit of interaction. Then the Comedy Magician took the stage, and seamlessly built upon the rapport that we had created with the audience. Aside from matching and exceeding our energy level, he forced the audience to focus visually on the stage as he began his magic show.

When we came back on stage, we found an audience that was more focused and engaged. We built upon that energy, and were able to get even more crowd interaction than we had our first set. And so it went throughout the night. Each time one of us handed over the show to the other, we had taken the audience to an even higher level of engagement. We each also created excitement for the other act as we would finish by introducing the each other back onto the stage with a great deal of fanfare. Each subsequent set was performed with a higher level of energy than the one before, so that by the end of the show we all received an enthusiastic ovation from a crowd that had started the night as mildly curious, or slightly skeptical (I’m not sure which).

Why did it work so well? First, I think that the both of our inherent show philosophies were identical: actively engage the crowd with interaction, comedy and energy. Neither of us would settle for being background noise. And the second reason it worked was that both of us were willing to not only support the other act but more importantly, build upon it. Finally, between the magic and the music and the comedy, we complimented the senses of sight and sound. There was no sense of competition between the dueling piano show and the comedy magician, only support because we all knew we were on the same team.

At the end of the event, the chief event planner gathered the Dennis, the magician, and my dueling partner and I together and enthused that it was the best event she’s ever done for this client, and it was because of the entertainment.

Dennis Watkin’s website: http://www.denniswatkins.net/

In the past 4 months I’ve entertained at 5 separate 40th birthday parties. Maybe Steinway had a big sale 41 years ago, and everyone was making whoopie on their new baby grands, I don’t know, but all of a sudden everyone seems to want a dueling piano show for their big four-oh. Since our show is an all request show, I’m in a unique position to know what songs people want to hear. Here some of the more popular requests that folks brought up to our pianos at these parties. It’s by no means a comprehensive list, as 5 parties are not exactly a statistically significant sample size, but it’s not a bad place to begin. Not surprisingly, there are many 80’s songs on this list, since they were all in high school throughout that decade.

Take On Me (Aha)
I Love Rock ‘n Roll (Joan Jett)
Tainted Love (Soft Cell)
Like A Virgin (Madonna)
Like A Prayer (Madonna)
Free Fallin’ (Tom Petty)
Purple Rain (Prince)
Dancing Queen (Abba)
Mony Mony (Billy Idol)
Billy Jean (Michael Jackson)
Thriller (Michael Jackson)
Sweet Dreams (Eurythmics)
Sister Christian (Night Ranger)
Safety Dance (Men Without Hats)
Land Down Under (Men At Work)
Don’t Stop Believing (Journey) By far the most popular request.
Take Me Home Tonight (Eddie Money)
Fight For Your Right to Party (Beastie Boys)
500 Miles (Proclaimers)    I still don’t know what “haver” means
Never Gonna Give You Up Yes, they wanted to get Rick-rolled.
Ice Ice Baby (V. Ice)   They stopped, collaborated and listened.
Pour Some Sugar On Me (Def Leppard)
Livin’ On A Prayer (Bon Jovi)
I Will Survive Like a bad penny this songs never goes away
American Pie (Don McLean)
We Didn’t Start the Fire (Billy Joel)
Bohemian Rhapsody (Queen)    Everyone sings along to this one
Summer of ’69 (Bryan Adams)
You Give Love a Bad Name (Bon Jovi)
Part of Your World (Disney)  Wouldn’t you think my collection’s complete?, but no…

and the strangest request from these freshly-minted quadragenarians…drum roll please….

anything Daughtry.  (WTF??)

There you have it. So if you’re hiring entertainment for your wife or husband’s 40th B-day party, you now know exactly what to tell the band or dj or dueling pianists to play!